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Wow! I just got a letter in the mail from my bank, Chase. Not a bank statement or anything, but a check for $9.25!! Sweet! My bank loves me! No way! This is awesome, I'm totally going to order take-out tonight to celebrate! Yeah, General Tao's chicken tonight!!! Call up the Sunny Garden and get that dude on his bike now! Don't forget the chicken fried rice! Yeee-haw!!

Oh...wait. Let me just read the fine print for a minute, just to be sure!

Hmm, it states that all I have to do is sign the check and deposit it...but, hold on a minute, what's this?

When you cash the check, you will automatically be billed the first semi-annual fee of $119.99 to my credit card account.

So, I cash a check for $9.25 and I get charged $119.99 twice? Awesome deal!! I'm still too stupid to fall for this, so let me go to the bank and cash it anyway.

Hold on, what is this? The $119.99 will enroll you in a membership in Elite Excursions and give me privileges such as discounts at thousands of participating hotels and give me V.I.P. (very important person!!! How can I not fall for this!) treatment at over 500 private airport lounges worldwide. Worldwide! I can use it four whole times a year and then (fine print) pay only $27 per visit after that!

Honestly, I don't know about you, but this still sounds almost too good to pass up. If you've been reading closely, I get $9.25 for free and all I have to do is pay $240 and get some awesome V.I.P. privileges.

My favorite part about this is that the letter says Elite Excursions is not affiliated with my bank, Chase, even though I got the letter in a Chase envelope. On top of that it says "Chase is mailing you this offer. Trilegiant (Owner of Elite Excursions or something) is the sponsor of this offer but Chase has not shared any information about you with Trilegiant. "

Hmmm....no, all they shared with them is my name, address and bank account number. No worries there! WOW!!!

Well, color me humored. Thanks for this special offer, I am going to the bank right now.

I think this sort of thing is illegal in Canada, I wish it was illegal here. There are way too many people out there that fall for this sort of thing, and I feel very bad for them and for their bank accounts. You just know these people put this stuff together to screw with those who aren't the fine print reading types.

Although, in the long run those suckers do get some pretty awesome V.I.P. privileges!! Pass the peanuts, buddy, and hand me a Canada Dry! My flight doesn't leave for another 2357873487348734 hours!!!